Impostor Syndrome and Leadership: The Secret Fear No One Talks About

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A recent special edition of The Economist explored Impostor Syndrome, confirming what many of us already experience firsthand: this quiet struggle is deeply embedded in today’s workplace. Not that I needed external validation. I see it regularly in my work. Different industries, different levels of seniority, different personalities — yet the same underlying tension emerges again and again.

Highly capable professionals confide in me about a persistent inner voice that questions their legitimacy. It whispers — sometimes it shouts — that they are not truly up to the task, that they were hired by accident, that their success is somehow a misunderstanding. Entrepreneurs tell me they fear their company was born out of reckless boldness rather than competence. Executives dread the moment someone will “finally realize” they are not as capable as they appear.

Externally, they project composure. Internally, they are exhausted. It takes extraordinary energy to look confident while suppressing the fear of being exposed as a fraud. That silent effort drains attention and creativity — resources that could be invested far more productively elsewhere.

 

The Hidden Companion of High Performers

What is striking is that this feeling of “never quite enough” rarely appears out of nowhere. It is often the shadow side of a performance-driven education and professional culture. From an early age, we are encouraged to aim higher, push harder, outperform expectations, and constantly improve. Achievement becomes the baseline. Satisfaction remains elusive.

The bar keeps moving, and whatever we accomplish quickly feels insufficient. The very mindset that fuels excellence also plants the seeds of chronic self-doubt.

And here is something equally important: you are not alone in this. A significant number of the people you admire most are wrestling with the same internal dialogue. You simply do not see it, because they hide it just as carefully as you do. Impostor Syndrome tends to visit those who care deeply about their work, who set high standards, and who strive to contribute meaningfully. In that sense, it may say more about your ambition than about your inadequacy.

A Signal of Growth, Not Proof of Fraud

Interestingly, Impostor Syndrome often surfaces at very specific moments: before taking on a stretch assignment, before stepping into a new leadership role, before launching something bold, or before navigating unfamiliar territory. It rarely appears when we are comfortably operating within our existing competencies.

That pattern is revealing.

The feeling may not signal incompetence; it may signal growth. It tends to arise precisely when we are expanding our perimeter.

The real difficulty is not that the feeling exists. The difficulty lies in carrying it unconsciously — like a backpack filled with stones — investing enormous energy in managing the discomfort rather than directing that energy toward meaningful projects.

 

Unmasking the Inner Voice

At some point, it becomes necessary to turn around and examine it more closely. Whose voice is this, really? Where did it originate?

Many high-profile professionals discover that their harshest inner critic echoes comments heard decades earlier — from a teacher, a parent, a peer. Some remarks were openly critical; others were framed as protection or motivation. The objective is not to assign blame but to create separation. Those voices belong to the past. They do not have authority over your present.

Does Impostor Syndrome ever disappear entirely? Probably not. As long as you are ambitious, curious, and willing to stretch beyond your comfort zone, it may resurface from time to time. But it does not have to paralyze you. It can become something else — a signal that you are entering territory that matters, that you are evolving, that you are playing a bigger game.

Seen through that lens, Impostor Syndrome is less an indictment and more a compass. It points toward growth. And perhaps the presence of that discomfort is not evidence that you do not belong — but proof that you are expanding into your next level.

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The Mental Trap That Keeps You in a Job You’ve Outgrown

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Are you unhappy at work? Be aware of the Sunk Cost FallacyAlexandra Humbel Coaching

If you are unhappy at work, you may be considering a major decision — changing jobs, moving into a new industry, or even reinventing your career altogether.

Yet this possibility often comes with fear and hesitation.

You may catch yourself thinking: What if I regret it?
At least I know what I have.
I may not like it, but it’s familiar.

So what stands in the way of making a clear, informed choice?
And how can you begin to recognize — and challenge — your own internal biases?

The invisible force behind your hesitation

Award-winning journalist David McRaney describes the Sunk Cost Fallacy with striking simplicity:

Misconception: You make rational decisions based on the future value of objects, investments, and experiences.

Truth: Your decisions are shaped by emotional investments — and the more you have invested, the harder it becomes to walk away.

Psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky offered a perspective based on biology and evolution: Organisms that prioritized avoiding threats over maximizing opportunities were more likely to survive and pass on their genes. Over time, this instinct became deeply wired in us.

As a result, the fear of loss often outweighs the promise of gain — even when the gain could lead to a better life.

Behavioral economist Dan Ariely adds another layer with what he calls the “pain of paying”: the discomfort we experience whenever we must give up something we already own.

How the Sunk Cost Fallacy shapes your career choices

You — and possibly your parents — invested in your education so you could start a career in a field of your choosing.

Since then, you have progressed through roles with increasing responsibility, recognition, and financial reward. Or perhaps you created your own business — maybe more than one — and navigated growth, setbacks, risks, and achievements.

All the time, energy, and emotion you have poured into your career have shaped the professional you are today.

So even if your work no longer brings satisfaction, the idea of walking away from what you have built year after year can feel unbearable.

And yet — why are you staying?

Are you honoring your past investments, or remaining loyal to the effort it took to arrive at a place that no longer fulfills you?

Becoming aware of how your decision process

Awareness often starts with small things.

Every day, you make countless micro-decisions — what to eat for dinner, how to react in a meeting, whether to speak up or stay silent. Begin observing how you make those choices.

David McRaney offers a telling example:

“Have you ever gone to see a movie only to realize within fifteen minutes that it’s one of the worst films ever made — but you sat through it anyway? You didn’t want to waste the money, so you stayed and suffered.”

Your career is not a movie. And your investment is worth far more than a ticket.

Holding on to the status quo simply because you have already paid the price will not move you toward what could be.

What is — versus what could be

Questions around career change can quickly become obsessive. There is much at stake, and the desire to make the “right” decision can feel overwhelming.

At this point, I invite you to step back from the career question itself. This may sound counterintuitive, but stay with me.

Your real agenda is not your job.
It is the life you want to live.

A life that includes your health.
The time you want for your family.
Your personal well-being.
The level of income you need to sustain it.

Only from this wider perspective can clarity emerge — about what needs to remain, and what is ready to change.

There is no loss — only transformation

You may believe that all your value is written on your CV.
It isn’t. What appears there is only the visible part of who you are.

At this stage of life, you deserve more than repeating what you already know how to do. You deserve to focus on what you truly excel at — the activities that feel natural, energizing, and meaningful.

Wherever you go, everything you have learned goes with you.

Your experience travels.
Your insight deepens.
Your value does not disappear — it transforms.

And sometimes, what feels like loss is simply the doorway to something more aligned waiting to open.

 

 

 

 

 

Sources
Mc Raney, D. “You Are Not So Smart”
Kahneman, D. “Thinking, Fast And Slow
Ariely, D. “Predictably Irrational”

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Why Updating Your “Big Picture” Can Change the Way You Work and Live

The Big Picture - Alexandra Humbel at the Wynwood Walls in MiamiAlexandra Humbel

The Wynwood Walls, in Miami’s iconic street art district, never fail to move me. I love the feeling of being dwarfed by these monumental murals, overwhelmed by their power and scale. During my latest visit, a simple question surfaced and stayed with me: Am I seeing the big picture of my life—or only fragments of it?

The big picture of your world

It is what you call reality. You have been taught that what you see, touch, and feel at any given moment is reality. From there, the idea that the person sitting next to you on a bus or standing beside you at a concert experiences something entirely different can feel almost unsettling. Aren’t you seeing the same buildings, feeling the same bumps in the road, hearing the same music?

And yet, your neighbor’s experience is profoundly different from yours. Their values, culture, past, and present circumstances tell a different story using the very same material. Even your own perception is not fixed. Think back to the building next to your childhood home—how enormous it felt back then, and how ordinary it looks today. Like the child you once were, your world evolves as you do.

This is why your big picture needs updating. It asks to be embraced as it is now. Be mindful of old beliefs and outdated perceptions that quietly pull you backward. Your present life—and even more so your future—requires that you release what no longer nourishes you and move forward with curiosity about what could be.

The big picture of your achievements

Pause for a moment and imagine this: if someone were introducing you at a conference and listing all your achievements—every single one—what would they say? They might mention your marathon running, your devoted parenting, the sales targets you surpassed, your presence for ageing parents, your ability to thrive in a new job, a new country, or an entirely new industry. They might speak of your capacity to learn new skills, your talent for creating a welcoming home, your resilience in the face of illness, your courage, your loyalty as a friend.

You bring far more value to the world than you realize. This is not an invitation to self-satisfaction—far from it. It is an invitation to occasionally acknowledge your unique contribution to your family, your friends, your colleagues, and beyond. Research shows that we celebrate our successes for minutes and dwell on our failures for years. Does that sound familiar?

The big picture of your dreams

When your mental space is crowded with what you didn’t do, did wrong, or wish you had done differently, there is little room left for dreams to expand. Big dreams need big walls on which to be drawn. They require space, focus, and the freedom to explore, get inspired, feel excited—and eventually, move into action.

Yet even in action, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. One of my clients felt strangely out of sync just as she had reached a major milestone in an ambitious project. Something was draining her energy right before the finish line. As we explored this together, we realized she had lost sight of the broader vision beyond the immediate goals. By stepping back and reconnecting with her deeper “why,” by visualizing her larger agenda as if she were already living it, her momentum returned.

So I’ll leave you with this question:
What does your big picture tell you today?

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Reinventing Work After 50: A Conversation About Purpose, Freedom, and Longevity

Meet an inspiring ground-breaker and achiever, a leader who is changing the culture around age, work, and living a purposeful second act of life.

Ed Kushins is an ex-US Navy submarine officer, entrepreneur, startup investor, social innovator, sharing economy trail-blazer, people connector, avid traveler, and good life lover.  Please join me for a fascinating conversation on a sunny Californian beach with my ex-boss, mentor, and friend, a man who makes his most strategic decisions barefoot in the sand.

How did your 50’s look professionally?

In my 50’s I was running two businesses in parallel. One was a family scrap metal recycling business, Fairway Salvage, that I subsequently built from 2 to 55 employees. I had a partner on board, which allowed me to run the company without spending too much time on it.

The other one started more as a hobby than a business but ended up becoming much larger. I had been on a home exchange vacation with my family and came back enthusiastic about the concept. The owner of that company declined my offer of some free marketing advice, so I started my own company in competition. The game-changer was taking the service from paper to digital, making HomeExchange one of the first online communities in the nascent sharing economy.  In 2006, the romantic comedy “The Holiday” propelled home exchange into the spotlight. The success of the movie was a booster for the company, which started to become profitable.  The same year, I sold Fairway Salvage to focus on HomeExchange.

From day one, I ran the company from my home near the beach in Southern California, never from an “office”. It was a conscious decision that when building the Team, I recruited Reps, Customer Service, and even my Partners exclusively from our community of Members. I figured they would be satisfied users who could relate personal experiences and would know everything about the home exchange process with almost no training.

To help our 60+ Team members (who all worked remotely around the world) bond together, I invited them every year with their families to a half-work, half-vacation retreat somewhere fun, usually on the beach… Evian, Croatia, Greece, Biarritz, Hermosa Beach, Myrtle Beach, Mt. Tremblant, Taormina, and more! With the input of my Team and partners, HomeExchange continued to grow until we sold it to a competitor in 2017.

When you sold HomeExchange you were hitting 70. What was next for you?

I was happily retired for 6 months, then a new idea kicked in. I am a networking guy, I’m always looking for ways to connect people. My new website, VacationPropertyPartners.com, connects two families to partner to split the cost and enjoy the benefits of a vacation home. We “hold their hands” until they buy the vacation home together.
Besides VacationPropertyPartners, I make myself available to help business owners with their marketing strategies. I am an active member of the Rotary, where I contribute to 3 to 4 projects. As an ex-Navy officer, I am part of an initiative that helps veterans re-enter civilian life. I am also active in an investors’ group focusing on startups.

Do your professional engagements support other aspects of your life?

Totally. I’ve made a conscious effort to not only keep a balance between the time and energy devoted to the professional and personal areas of my life but to use each of them to enhance the other. Terry and I love to travel and I actually chose to concentrate on HomeExchange because it allowed me to create more opportunities to do so for business and pleasure. For me, learning, meeting people from around the world, building a successful business around a product, culture, team, and members that I believe in, have all been incredibly satisfying.

Along the way, I’ve developed some habits and rules I try to follow:

  • Keep my work, personal life, and health in balance.
  • Prioritize my tasks so I know what I want/need to do each day/week/month/year. Sometimes “Go to the beach” is on the list. It’s OK to get away from the computer for a while.
  • Appreciate my customers and try to keep them happy.

I’ve got 5 long-term priorities… “The journey of 1000 miles”  that I’m taking the first steps on:

  1. Appreciate my wife and always try to make her happy
  2. Do what I can to stay healthy
  3. Launch my new website, VacationPropertyPartners.com
  4. Write (or dictate) a memoir
  5. Finish my long-in-process (only 35 years) book about the personal decision-making process. Becoming aware of how you make personal and professional decisions, however big or small, is a super-power.

What is your definition of success and how would you evaluate your success on a scale from 1 to 5?

Definitely 5/5. My insight into how and why I’ve made the choices I’ve made allows me to accept and feel comfortable with what I’ve done.  I accept the result of choices and actions that I’ve made along the way, given my expectations of the risks and rewards, as well as the work, time, effort, and sometimes money I’ve followed through with.

Life is good. Every night I go to bed grateful and excited for another day.

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Beyond the Retirement Cliff: Reimagining Work After 50

Embracing the Mid-Life Riser: Redefining Success in the Second Act of Your Career - Alexandra HumbelAlexandra Humbel

Studies show that, long before our 50th birthday, we want to work differently. If conditions are met, we are happy to work longer, even beyond the official retirement age.  For most of us, the retirement cliff does not work anymore.

The Retirement Paradox

For some, the perspective of retirement is attractive. It gives hope for a better, more relaxed future, with plenty of time to do the things they love. So why do you feel a tingle in your stomach from the perspective of being “out” at a given date? As a skilled professional, are you a product with an expiration date? Do your competencies vanish at sixty-something? Does your appetite to contribute dry out the day you have covered the legal number of quarters? The truth is, there is an abyss between how people see and feel themselves, and the mandatory path they are herded into.

The Grey Zone After 50

Another damaging effect of the standard retirement age is that, if you happen to be in the labor market after 50, you enter an undescribed grey zone. Just a few years earlier, you were a searched-for, high-potential professional. You worked your ass off to improve your skills and climb the ladder. But for some reason, you are starting to hear things like “too expensive”, “lack of technology skills” and all sorts of polite variations of “too old”. The rich CV that you hold like a trophy is becoming a burden. You catch yourself shortening the “Education” and Early jobs” sections. You avoid putting dates in front of milestones, especially the ones from the past century.

Between Burnout and Retirement, There Must Be Another Way

It does not have to be this way. Between a full-time, highly competitive rat race, and a life of leisure, there has to be something that works for you. This something is not published as a job opening. It requires some serious work to figure out what your next step is, and the sooner the better. Seniority at work and experience of life are blessings. But in the perspective of creating something entirely new and highly subjective, these assets can stand in your way.

When Past Success Stops Being the Right Compass

Beliefs and motivations that have helped you get to a point of success may not be that useful to create a fulfilling second act. Some parts of yourself have been extended and nurtured to get you where you are. Some parts, on the contrary, have been ignored. Now is the time to acknowledge them. Now is the time to activate these talents and evaluate a more integrative new life project. Maybe you crave meaningful work, maybe you want more impact in your engagement. And likely, you value your health, you are more aware of your personal needs and you long for and a better work-life balance.

Redefining Success in the Second Act

“Think big” is a concept to re-visit with an open mind. “big” is not the opposite of “small” but the opposite of “conventional, one-size-fits-all, black-and-white, finished”. Opportunities for an unconventional, fulfilling second act of life are out there, invisible to the eyes which have not been opened, yet. And this is great news because the world needs your experience and your talent.

Are you ready to become a mid-life riser?

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COVID-19: 7 Things to Rediscover While in Home Confinement

COVID-19: 7 Things to Re-Discover While in Home Confinement - Alexandra HumbelAlexandra Humbel Coaching

While are all gradually assigned to stay at home, due to containment measures, experiences differ considerably according to our personal situations. For those who have no kids at home, the sound of silence can be vastly disturbing, and loneliness painful. Here are 7 simple things to re-discover while in home confinement.

1. Binge-read

Groucho Marx once said: “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book”. Netflix is not the only growing value boosted by COVID-19. Books are too. Even though you are in home office mode, the time freed by the absence of commuting is yours. Precious extra time, scarcely available even during weekends, that you can now enjoy in the comfort of your home. The only problem is to give yourself permission. Does it feel better if someone else does? Famous author George R.R. Martin said: “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one.” That’s enough for me.

2. Fix the kitchen cabinet door

It is interesting to see one’s own home in a new light. Not weekends’ light. Working hours’ light. For some reason, disturbing realities are suddenly claiming your attention. The stain on the living room carpet. The pile of dusty magazines you will never read (unless today is the day? See point 1) and the sofa which cringes each time you sit. You think: “I’m on home office, I am not supposed to tinker.” Sure, you are not. But consider this: At the office, you would take more pauses than you even know. Chat at the water cooler. Walk 10 minutes to join a meeting in another building. Wait at the meeting room door until occupants evacuate. Minutes of unproductive time add up during an ordinary workday. So technically, you are entitled to a pause. Optimize your break. And fix the damn kitchen cabinet.

3. Love grocery shopping

Who would have thought, that grocery shopping would be the highlight of your day? Now that you get one permission a day, you are not going to miss that chance. Going to the closest supermarket becomes a secret expedition with a purpose. Officially, to fill the fridge. Secretly, you are on probation. Appreciate every moment. Breathe the air on your way to the store. Walk every alley. Pick up your favourite yoghurt flavour. Ponder to buy tissue paper and instead mentally start a shopping list for tomorrow. On the way back, resist the temptation to go for a road trip in a steal-blue cabriolet, hair in the wind, “Thelma and Louise” style.

4. Experience slow motion

Seriously, how can days be so long? When locked at home, time stretches in a bewildering way. The uneasy feeling starts with the radical offset between our usually speedy, efficient, “let’s not waste a second” self and the reality of our limited and quiet space. The truth is, should you not slow down, you would soon be bouncing on the walls. The strange combination of limited space, extended time and deprivation of buzzing sounds of life are profoundly disturbing. The interesting outcome is that your productivity is not diminished. Your useless agitation is.

5. Meet your neighbours and bow

Relationships between neighbours can be awkward, especially in big cities. We salute each other politely and engage in some small talk when inevitable (elevator). COVID-19 may change the dynamics. If you are confined at home so are your neighbours. Chances are, you will meet on your way back from probation (shopping). This is when your neighbours feel closer, even buddies. Brotherhood stops at the regulatory distance to avoid contamination, but still, the ice is broken. You share the news, exchange survival tips and promise each other a giant pot-luck dinner when it is all over. Then you bow and go home.

6. Re-discover the phone

With the predominance of texting, we totally forgot that in a not so distant past, we called each other for everything and nothing. The phone ring was intrusive, listening to messages a chore and calling back obligatory. With texting, we freed ourselves from a nuisance, but we lost two essential things along the way: the human voice, with all its nuances, that emoji will never replace, and conversation, in the sense of a musical improvisation, where two people pick up on each other’s words and tone of voice. While we do converse in writing, many notes are lost along the way.

7. Ask “How are you doing” and mean it

A conventional expression of civility, which in normal times, does not require an actual answer, is now reloaded with a ton of meaning and intention. Because now, you do want to know how your people are doing in the global pandemic world. You care for cousins you see once a year, friends from college and ex-spouses. You care enormously for your grandparents and elder relatives. You care for colleagues, in other countries, that you never met but who became, in just a few days, brothers and sisters in arms against the virus. You listen to the regretted Stevie Wonder “I just call, to say how much I care”.

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