In the space of personal growth, and especially when it relates to women, the expression “self-confidence” is omnipresent. Or rather the lack of, the need for more, and the pursuit of.
I have observed the paradox of self-confidence many times in my female clients, especially high-profile achievers who feel drained by inner doubts. Or struggling to nurture their self-confidence.
One of them, whom I call Katie, told me “I wish I were more self-confident. I am good at what I do. I kick ass. Why do I struggle? Why don’t I take credit, once and for all, for all my achievements?”
We explored what self-confidence meant for her. What, exactly, made her want more of it. How it made her feel, physically and emotionally. What she valued and who she was in this space. We explored how self-confidence served her, what expanded, what was unleashed, and what felt good. We examined real-life situations and the impact on decisions taken in this state of self-confidence. We observed, with blunt honesty, what self-confidence did for her, and what it did not. We were also curious, what was the fear behind the lack of self-confidence? What would become possible if self-confidence was granted?
Her perspective shifted. Awareness is power. Self-confidence became no more a constantly escaping feel-good state. It lost its power, as a prerequisite for meeting challenges and asserting herself. It had depth and implications. It connected to what she really, really wanted. Something more important than self-confidence emerged. A higher sense of purpose, served by abundant inner resources.
On this basis, she was able to build strategies to get to where she wanted. Made her inner resources available to serve who she wanted to be. Self-confidence, eventually, became irrelevant, the middle-man. She decided to take the faster route.
And you, are you craving more self-confidence? How does it serve you?